Letting friends go ...

I had a friend recently tell me when in a moment of opening myself up and letting some of me out told me in so many words that I'd never get grammar down because I came from a bunch of hillbillies.  I was stunned that a friend of 40 years, would say such a thing to me.  I struggle with grammar, anyone reading my work can directly point out.  This friend however claims to have the "grammar gene" just comes to her naturally.  I asked her once to review a college paper I had written and she found a couple of things, left blaring mistakes unmarked and insulted me yet again.  Maybe I have had enough of the negativity, dreary, depressing air that lives around her.  My optimism and my hopes are still mine, i never let her get to them with her attitudes.  Hope springs eternal in my heart, and sharing hope is a blessing.  To me anyway--I'm sure it annoyed the hell out of her.After years and years of this though it finally occurred to me to let her go.  I went an entire peaceful year without hearing from her because somewhere down the line I hurt her feelings and unbeknownst to me, she evidently never forgave me for missing a few of her emails to me.  It took me over 10 years to finally get it, so I wanted to see how long she would let it go.  Over a year.  Well over a year I only was told she was sorry that my father died on facebook.  I had told her Happy Birthday twice and she responded in kind, on facebook.  So OK, I just might be getting it that what she is doing is punishing me, for some slight I had to be prompted to remember once the final showdown came.  I'm still not sure what happened.  It began with her saying to me in an email that she didn't want to say anything, but ... did I realize how quickly I judged her.  I believe she was referring to , oh hell, I don't have a clue WHAT she was referring to.  But it started the beginning of the end for our friendship.  I came back with, while we're on the subject lets really clear the air and snowballed to her listing her grievances, then saying they didn't really matter, to which I ponder, then why bring them up then? My reaction to her reaction was one of pure surprise.  I  now know the reasons for her change in treating me and our friendship, 40 years ain't hay.  I'm more stunned than anything and don't like my estimation of her.  Once the shock wore off of her saying I'll do us both a favor and remove myself from your life, I felt relieved, blessedly relieved.  That black cloud that was a constant was gone.  Sometimes hanging onto a friend for friendships sake is wrong, it's just wrong and it's taken a big chunk out of my life from when the misunderstanding to the point and place it moved us to now.  I didn't understand how she could go a year without any meaningful contact.  She decided that when I missed reading and responding to her emails that she would never again initiate a conversation with me.  Can you believe it?  That year I was punished and would still be getting punished if events hadn't played out just so.  So now I am completely free.  She has no friends to speak off other than facebook acquaintances.  She has pretty much turned me against facebook so I feel sorry for her on so many different levels.  It's amazing the things that I can look back on, now knowing the why's to her strange behavior at times.  I am a loyal person, but I don't want anyone walking all over me, I reached my saturation point.   Now I'm learning to let her go, go to her own devices.  When a friendship starts becoming painful, it's time to let go.  I wish you well old friend, I truly do, I hope you find whatever you're looking for, God being the number one prayer for you.  Fare thee well.