I quit listening when nothing was being said anymore. I quit writing when my heart broke. I quit singing when life no longer made sense. The music in me died, the life rung out in steps of sorrow and pain. What is left? Not a lot, maybe bullshit jokes and meaningless smiles. Time the great healer? Ha, time buries us all -eventually we all die broken and alone, broken and alone. No reason to get up-- no reason to (lie down?) go to bed. No reason to eat no reason to wash away doing nothing for none, the sweat is in dreams the toil nightmares. The rest is simple nothingness filling the time we don't have. Where my hated friend did the joy go? Anger, relentless anger stalks the halls of the mind and nothingness is the hated friend of nothing. Let me be, let me sleep, let me sink into the nothingness I know so well. Let me go, let me go, let me go...
This was not quite a year ago, things have changed somewhat, some better, some worse. This feeling of hopelessness though has run it's course and I look forward now to working to enjoy life. Sometimes it takes longer than you want, to get back on the correct pathway, my main goal here was healing, and that has begun. My spirits are lifted, thank you Lord of my soul, thank you for this day and for taking such good care of family and friends alike. Thank you.
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